5rotlogoGIF
2Rrotlog

Where Dreams Take Flight

NAVIGATION_BAR1

Martian_AnkhV_VerySMWhere will you go when you die? The answer may surprise you. Read SECOND EDEN 

MAGAZINE

CONTENTS:

NEWS...

Feature Articles and Departments...

AEROBATICS

AERONAUTICS

CARTOONS

FLYING OFF THE HANDLE (Commentary and Opinion)

FRIGHT FLIGHT™   (Aviation Safety: Selected NTSB Accidents Probes)

GENERAL AVIATION

GUMP CHECK (Pilot Proficiency, Training, Techniques, Knowledge)

HANGAR CLUB (Chat Room)

HISTORY

LAZY EIGHTS™ (Puzzles, Teasers, Laughs And Such...  not just for pilots)

LETTERS (Your Comments and Opinions)

Mile-High Maiden (Our Cover Girl)

MILITARY

REVIEWS (Books, Movies and Videos)

SPACE and ASTRONAUTICS

SUBMISSIONS (Pictures, Articles, Ideas)

UFO UPDATES

and much more...

SUBSCRIBE! IT´S FREE!

 

   Military Vets Looking for a Job?

LIGHTER THAN AIR

Edited by Jeff Pardo

You´ve stumbled upon the well of laughs. Stop and take a cool, refreshing drink!   

Ten Imponderables Worth Pondering

On the Importance of Fishing

The husband and wife go to a marriage counselor after 25 years of marriage.

The counselor asks them about the problem.

The wife goes into a tirade, listing every single problem they have ever had in the past 25 years.

She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up from his chair behind the desk, walks around, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately.

The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counselor, then, turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs, at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays. But, on Fridays, I fish."

OUCH!!!!

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Perspective

Consider the following for a little perspective:

Pythagorean theory:       24 words

The Lord's Prayer:       66 words

Archimedes' Principle:       67 words

The 10 Commandments:      179 words

The Gettysburg Address:      289 words

The Declaration of Independence:    1,300 words

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage:  26,911 words

Perspective 2

When you take a long time, you're slow.  When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. 

When you don't do it, you're lazy.  When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. 

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.  When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human. 

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.  When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative. 

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.  When your boss does it, he's being firm. 

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original. 

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.  When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative. 

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.  When your boss is out of the office, he's on business. 

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.  When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill. 

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.  When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Dave´s Parrot

A guy named David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example.

Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute.

David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."

David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask  what the chicken did?"

Texan Whopper!

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he
announces, his wife has just produced "a typical Texas baby boy weighing 20pounds." Congratulations shower him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" are heard. A woman faints because of sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Ten pounds."

The bartender is puzzled, concerned. "Why? What happened? He already weighed 20 pounds at birth."

The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star, wipes his lips on his shirtsleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."

Desert Island

One day this guy, who has been stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.  "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. And as the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he says.

She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pocket of fresh cigarettes.  He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man!" "Is that ever good!"

She then asks him, "How long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?"

Trembling, he replies, "Ten Years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask, and gives it to him.  He opens the flask, takes a long swing, and says, "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!"

Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

The guy, with tears in his eyes, replies, "Oh sweet Lord God!"  "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!"

THE SOLDIER

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from  several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had  finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.  The  train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train,  looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a welldressed middleaged lady and was being used by her little dog.  The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and  said, "You Americans.  You are such a rude class of people. Can't you  see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, "Please, lady.  May I sit there?  I'm very tired." 

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant.  Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the  little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.  You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand.  You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.  And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and offwhite.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND: 

1. OTHER WOMEN!

Back to top

More humor...

 

It’s true...

 The universe started with the Big Bang.

466913main_celestial-fireworks_full-610x457VerySmall

And the Big Bang came from a singularity.

But just what, exactly, is a singularity?

The surprising answer is mind-blowingly simple.

And enormously transformative.

It could be the ultimate proof of a Divine Creator.

Read

The Bigger Bang

 

What’s New?

Norman Rockwell’s

  Man’s First Step on the Moon Fine Art Print.

mom3

Or Buy One Now...While they last!

Celebrate Mankind´s Greatest Adventure: Man´s First Step on the Moon, July 20, 1969, with Norman Rockwell´s limited edition print. Publisher´s Closeout! While they last. Only $75? Plus $14.95 shipping (flat) & insur.

Click for Details!

Bush sm

Lt (j.g.) George H. W. Bush Flying a Grumman TBM Avenger 1943, by renowned artist Ted Wilbur

Publisher’s Closeout! This fabulous collector edition print is available now for a limited time at the special online price of ONLY $50.00 Plus $14.95 shipping (flat) & insur. ($64.95 total Order.

[Home] [About Us] [Shopping] [Gallery] [Services] [Contact]

© AEROSPHERE 1999-2017